a lot waiting.

i look to my feet when i am down. because for some reason they've managed to find themselves no longer on the ground. and my hands are trying to do the walking so that i can get some place other than the sky. because my adventurous spirit ran out when i said goodbye. but for some reason, my feet remember. remember what it was like to run so fast they left the ground. to feel so light that they didn't need to touch earth to move. but a ball of lead has made my stomach its permanent home and i can't seem to digest my loneliness...my fear...and all the changes the same way i usually do. and so i sink. and i let the lead seep in and grow roots. but. my feet remember. and so they force me on my hands and make me uncomfortable so that i'll remember. remember what it is like to be here and be free. and so that i'll deal with that ball of lead because sinking turns into suffocating at this angle and i've got far too much waiting for me to give up. and give in.