Tuesday, March 30, 2010

"we care more about your life, and that you are living it well, then about a piece of paper"

thank you dad. i needed that.

Monday, March 29, 2010

and so i write and paint.

i don't have an internship. i don't know what i am going to do with my future. i'm scared as hell. so i write poetry and paint and i spend time with a boy who makes my heart light.


"life mingling"

would you grip a falling leaf
in fear of a seasons change
as it slips through your fingers
demanding you to move forward
with the risks,
and the pain of changing,
tied closely with loving?

white knuckled holding on
to the blossoms as they burst
through the cracks between your fingers,
neither obstinance,
nor fear,
holding them back
as you shake your fist,
full of promises of new life,
back at the tree from which they came.

you know neither the shade,
nor the fruit,
as you miss the possibilities
in favor of the facts.

but what if,
for a moment,
a blossom was a promise,
and what if,
for a moment,
a fallen leaf was a life
of unexpected and unplanned living?
there can be no anger,
you, yourself were unexpected,
not part of the 5-year course on life-map making

but things change,

and lives grow,

to fit the changing season,
being able to do nothing more
than breath
and hold on tight
to the life mingling with yours.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

resting lightly

rumors of another world
a slice of life
and a fresh cup of coffee
next to your sweet side
with your hand
resting lightly on my thigh
not noticing my eyes
gazing at you
as you gaze at the sky
and speak
in a language all your own
with topics that i don't dream of
that you only dream in
filling the space with possibilities
as you move from one topic to the next
while i jump in and join you
in your world
in your head
and liking the view from where i am sitting
enjoying the coffee
the talk of adventures
and the feel of your hand on my thigh

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

springy sounds

She & Him have a new album out and to me they sound the way spring is supposed to sound and feel, so i am very excited at the arrival of this album AND there is this phenomenal site that lets you download it for free!!! what????!!! just click on the link and enjoy :)

Monday, March 15, 2010


keep talking about forever
though i can't handle the dream
my heart aches at your touch
and at the softness of your eyes
don't tell me what you noticed
my green eyes
my jeans and bare feet
because i will say forever
and i will wait
across the distance
and through the time that it'll take
to get me back to you
so keep telling me forever
and i'll keep dreaming with you

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

again and again.

as you drink poison
you kill your enemy
but i drink no poison
and you are no enemy
but a pariah i seem
an infection has infiltrated my heart
a disease with no cure
except my expulsion
from your presence
your heart
and our friendship
i sink in my confusion
but not in regret
the cure is not attractive
or understandable
to you and your sensibilities
but there is no other answer
then the hand i now hold
so here is your time
and space
don't be what i fear
because my choice will not change
i would chose this disease
and again
and again
and so would you

Monday, March 1, 2010


i wonder if i am unlovable?
if my dreams
are only big enough for one?
packing my bags,
making my plans,
with only me in mind.
have i dreamt to small,
to include another?

but all it took
was one moment,
one second of honesty
with myself and with you,
to let myself feel what i feel
and let my words
break down my own walls
that you had slowly begun to chisel
that i had slowly allowed to crack
so that my heart could make an escape
and i could remember how to breath.

you teaching me to live
taking my hand
for whatever may come
nothing has changed
but nothing will ever be the same.


i am loving life right now.
nothing has changed and yet everything has changed.
luckily the happiness is out weighing the fear.