Welcome to my Soul

Do you ever hit a point in life when you realize you do what you are talking about and that you are smart?

I'm finally there in my life!


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Why not just apply and let fate decide?
Why limit yourself when you aren't even in charge?

Good point...maybe because I'm scared....


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Sometimes I wish I was Jewish because of how amazing they are

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I believe that we live in a myth of imperfection. We believe we aren't perfect. We've been told repeatedly we aren't perfect. I've come to believe it is a lie.

You are perfect because you were created by the definition of perfection. You don't believe me ask God or ask Rabbi Naomi (she's one of my heroes I've decided)

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My grandfather has diabetes and has an infection in the bone in foot...
This terrifies me...
My mom said he and my grandmother were in good spirits (they are two of my heroes as well)

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I feel blessed by so many people right now and they don't even know it
I think I will tell them

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To give someone affection is to bless them with something indescribable
I'm not kidding it is a proven scientific fact...I learned it today at school
Although I already knew affection was essential to life

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I'm looking for God outside of Christianity
In the hard places
In other religions
In being female
In feminist theology

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Welcome to my Soul

Highlights from thanksgiving week with my family coming soon :)

ponderings of this school week...

"God/dess" Karen Harris

"Divinity resides in the moments where our senses are completely open--it is our openness of perception that makes every moment divine" Hindu Tantra

"All pleasure is essentially spiritual--it creates a new world beauty" Mysticism and Madness

"Desire in the service of enlightenment" Kashmirshavism

"...to have the courage to cultivate a society that can live with its own flagrant contradictions." (271) The Ornament of the World by Maria Rosa Menocal

"Athens has nothing to do with Jerusalem" or "Athens has everything to do with Jerusalem"

"When everything else falls away the music comes in to keep me company in stuffy silence..." Me

laughter.

release.

the outward expression
of inward elatious joy,
raised to the magnitude
of the precision of happiness,
carried on the breath
of the lotus flower
that is passed,
from Creator to creation
with the purpose
of simple and refined delight,
in spite of the cloud cover of sadness
as we are beckoned just to smile.

November 6, 2007

My dad and my step-mom have been married for 14 years today.

What this means:
-They have been married for 14 years (duh)
-I have had a wonderful woman to call my mother for 14 years
-We have been a family for 14 years
-I've known God is real for 14 years

What a wonderful day...

sleep?

I have mini panic attacks whenever i try and sleep because my mind starts to think about the future and grad school and having to start over with the whole friendship thing. I have got to figure out what I am going to do.

mmmm....november....

So, God and I haven't been communicating recently. A more truthful way to say that would be I haven't be listening because I know God's talking I'm just not sure where I am. Well I know where I am I'm a little dead currently. I'm finding nothing and it sucks because I have a deep passion for what I believe and I can talk for hours about it and be extremely passionate and that's great but right know I'm dead. I need something new. I need something fresh. I need God apart from my passion and with my passion because God is my passion. One thing my professors always say about my papers is that they can feel my passion about who I am and what I believe. I love that!! I want people to know my passion!! Right now I'm in a rut though, and I need something more I'm not moving forward. I'm not going anywhere; I'm pretty sure I'm walking in a circle because I think I'm seen that tree before. I need to find something to not necessarily restart my faith, because it's there I feel it, but I need something to get it moving again. I need a push because I'm here but I'm just idling and for some reason I can't find drive (sorry for the car analogy but it works).


So, there's the beginning of November. Maybe something new? I'm pretty sure November is Swedish for new....or maybe I just need it to be...