April's End

the dogwood is in bloom

and i miss the thought of it all

the tulips here grow to be 2 feet tall

how odd to have a flower desire to look you in the eye

it is not the flowers i am worried about 

but the lack of flowers,

the threat of no spring

straight from winter to summer

hidden life to approaching dust

but i can see the blossoms

and you  like how much i laugh

One More Semester of Seminary Down

i love my small evangelical seminary. i love that i am not conservative and that it is ok. i love that my thoughts have value and that i have learned to value myself enough to say them out loud. i love that i am becoming me in a place that is becoming my own.

things in school this semester:

-i wrote statements of beliefs on doctrine of God, doctrine of revelation, and doctrine of the person of Christ

-sixteen weeks of studying prayer

-read through the prophets and the gospels

-studied the story of the hemorrhaging woman in Mark 5 and wrote about her and loved her and her story and began to see myself in that story and loved Jesus even more because of that story

-i got to interview my sweet friend/mentor Gelayol and learn about her life in Iran and about what it was like to move to the United States

-i taught a room full of graduate students how to make tambourines out of paper plates and lentils

-i wrote a paper on the implications of Twilight by Stephenie Meyer and what it is communicating to our culture and how the church needs to respond (it may surprise you what Twilight is communicating to youth i know i was surprised, it was interesting)

things in life:

-discovered the joy of hot rollers allowing me to have curly big hair whenever i see fit

-moved 

-really getting to know my sweet friend Rachael i live with

-discovering the joy of new music almost daily

-joined a gym 

-learning more how to love myself

-hiking constantly

-drinking more coffee then is necessary

-learning to love being single

-making my new house my home

-discovered i don't like shirts with sleeves

-making cards is an absolute joy, sending them is even better

-trying to figure what to say to tell someone i'm done

-Christian Camping International, hopefully

-taking pictures on disposable cameras because my digital is broken

-ready for the adventure that will be May-August

3 Thoughts

I love spring.

Iced coffee and skirt wearing has commenced. 

Listening to The Everyday Visuals and Carolina Liar.

watching springtime unfold

from the bench seat in the window

waiting for something

allowing myself a moment

to be with you

as my heart leaps 

at the sound of your name

at the words in your letter

the thought of a future i dare not entertain

what will spring bring?

not you.

Not A Flower

in silence,

flower petals drop

to the floor

forgotten.

withering.

left in the quiet room

accompanied only

by the rocking chair's creak

waiting,

waiting,

waiting,

for someone,

to fill this space.

not just a body,

but a spirit

with laughter.

bringing with them

a watering can,

coaxing the petals

to once again grow.

long. tired.

life is crazy right now. 2 and 1/2 weeks of school left until a break before summer classes start in june. i'm learning a lot though and feel blessed in my classes and in my new living situation.  i just finished a paper on the unity within the person of Christ, asserting that you can't legitimately separate the historical Jesus from the Christ of faith, because one does not exist without the other. next week for one of my intercultural classes i'm teaching the class how to make tambourines out of paper plates and lentils. it should be a fun time, talking about being joyful in worship and this translates well to children of all cultures. it looks like 2 years as a youth director is coming in handy ;) two more doctrinal statements as well will be being written and thought over and thought on and discussed as i figure out how to say what i believe.

more then any of that though i am living.  i am going out. making food with (the new roommate and most importantly friend). not letting my school dictate my life but living because this is it, i've only got so much time in portland. there is no way i am rachael going to waste it on days it is beautiful to sit inside. life is moving so fast and it is crazy to think that i have already be living here for almost 9 months. 

so, i'm working on living and laughing and cooking (without fear).

life is good.

God is good and alive.

may is going to be a fun month.

summer is very close.

Spring Break

That little sweet heart in the middle I get to call my brother.

That's a pretty good image of mine and my brothers relationship ;) this is just one of the many afternoons we spent on the trampoline.

That is definitely my grandma, sister, and brother on the trampoline. Oh how I love my family.

One of the hazards of moving, poor coffee mug. More pictures of my new colorful townhouse coming soon.